We follow our detectives on three homicide cases: a strange shooting and theft, a dead body in the water with a pocket full of mystery and a very unique contract killer. The plots twist, turn and very much end with a surprise bang.

Not being one to spoil a good story, this book is a great crime drama. I liked the characters, as they were well developed and, as I said, unique. McGovern is a very likeable detective, has a personality that is charming but sharp and makes a good central character. Goreman, his partner, is aloof enough to be his partner and does not present herself as a potential love interest, which makes the working relationship solid. They have their methods down pat and they work well together.

There are two back up cops, Landry and Higgins. They are your typical detectives, doing the legwork involved in the case. They are developed enough to make them essential to the case and they are likeable figures. Sargent Mike Johns is the likeable but explosive boss of this unit, and he has all the attributes of a fiery Desk Sargent with upper management issues. I have to say I found all the main characters interesting and essential to the plot and each had their place and purpose. Very well thought out and executed.

The story is a plot within plots and is well developed and implemented. We have a murder in a garage, where a man is shot, his briefcase is stolen and his wife is left alive to tell the tale. We have a drowned man with some interesting pocket contents that leads to an intricate Ponzi scheme, and then we have a contract killer with a unique way of getting rid of his marks. The plot ties all these stories together and I was impressed with the way the story was woven, and all the little twists in the stories within the story.  Mr. Thompson’s first book is amazingly interesting and well done. I was impressed with his story telling skills and his character development. In other words, I really liked the story and for a first time out, the author did very well.

What was very noticeable was the lack of proofreading and editing. The spelling errors, the misuse of words, such as his use of there when he meant their, and the formatting issues made this a little hard on the eyes for the reader. About 3/4’s of the way through the book, it seems like the author gave up proofing the book altogether. The paragraphs dissolve into run-on thoughts, like someone writing a police report. There is no structure in many stretches of the story; missing periods, commas and capitalization at the start of new sentences. The formatting also gets jumbled at the end and it was very distracting from the story itself, especially where the author wraps up the story.

I also felt the introduction was giving away too much story, and there were inconsistencies presented. Case in point – the contents of the briefcase. The introduction says the case contained a million dollars, but the story itself speculated on the contents as possibly money, at one point it was thought it was half a million, but it was never really confirmed. Just minor details, but these can be essential to the reader, and would present a more professionally-finished product if corrected.

This book would benefit from a good proofing and editing and some better formatting for the Kindle. As a first class story, this would “finish” the book and make it a first rate book all around. 3 Stars for this particular Kindle version with 5 stars for the story itself.

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theresalwaysanothercase.com

I just completed a study of twenty newly released ebooks just to see how far the art of ebook publishing has advanced in the last year. I choose ebooks from well-known authors, from self-publishing authors, some novels, some technical books. I wanted a variety for my study. I would like to share my observations and suggestions for their improvement.

My contention is that REAL ebooks should be a different product than their paper counterparts. They should be formatted differently; sections arranged differently and in some cases they should have different covers. In short, to be a REAL ebook, they should not be just a copy of the traditional book version.

The following is a list of certain areas that I feel need improvement; areas that you must consider when you create your ebook.

REAL ebooks Links
Rendering your ebook with links is a major step in the right direction in creating a REAL book. What items MUST have links?

1. The Table of Contents must have links to the chapter headings. Most are doing this now.
2. Author’s References – the ebook must include links to the author’s website, email address, blogs, online profiles and social networking connections (Facebook/Twitter). You need this to get your reader/audience involved.
3. Author’s Other Books – there should be links to the buy pages for other books created by the author. Why miss this marketing opportunity.

For example, in my study two of the ebooks were written by top 10 authors and published by traditional publishers. Both had a list of their other titles, provided credits for the book creation and the usual publisher information. Neither used links to assist the reader in buying other titles or helping their co-developers secure new business. One did have a link to the publisher’s web site. There was no links to the author’s website, blog, email address or social network information.

4. In book Links – the REAL ebook should have links in the content to footnotes (held in appendix), to word and term definitions and to references. For example, one project I recently worked on was a pictorial about Omaha Beach with over 50 original pictures inserted in the content. With the picture, its title and the picture credits, the content became very difficult to read. The solution was to have a link from the picture title to the picture’s credits in the back of the ebook. If the reader wanted to check out the source they could follow the link and then hit the back key on the ebook device. If the reader didn’t, they could ignore the link and continue without interrupting the reading experience.

Another example in my survey was a technical book about the publishing industry. It was a well written book with lots of good information and references. But there were no links. None! It contained lots of hard coded website addresses and email contact information. All I had to do was re-enter the URL into my web browser and I could find the source.

Actually this is a missed opportunity. One of the problems that traditional books have that REAL ebooks can solve is the maintenance of links in the books. As we know we live in an ever changing world. Web and email addresses change on a daily basis, it seems. So there I am with a link to some interesting information and the link is no good. A broken link, if you will

If the REAL ebook is managed properly, you can avoid or limit this problem. You can create an online directory of links for your ebook. Then you setup a link monitoring process and a link maintenance routine and maintain a valid list of links in the directory. I call this the Goodlinks concept. Just include a link to the online directory in your ebook and you won’t lose your audience.

In fact you can draw the reader to your site and market other products and services. Of course, the beauty of the REAL ebook is you can republish it at any time with the updated links and information.

I believe the REAL ebook can help solve the read-back problems that all readers are faced with at one time or another. I watched a reader the other day try to deal with a novel that was riddled with acronyms and abbreviations. It was getting to be such a problem that half way through the ebook, she actually started writing them down on a separate piece of paper to reference later. Here is an example. “He called USAMRIID for advice.” I give up.

Other Considerations to Ponder
Covers
Sometimes the traditional book cover doesn’t work for the ebook. In this case, size does matter. That great book cover that you had designed is going to go small. On-line distributors try to catch the eye of would-be readers with thumbnail covers. The problem is that sometimes colors get in the way, the type size and face doesn’t look good small and the art gets distorted. A professional designer can solve this problem. You need one that can make the cover work in both environments. Check with our host for this site, Joel Friedlander.

One of the other cover issues is with the effort to get the prospective reader to view a sample of the ebook; some distributors will put a label over the right hand corner of the thumbnail which obscures that portion of the cover. A good designed cover will keep important information viewable like the author’s name or even the title of the book. I saw that in my study.

Copyright
REAL ebooks should include, with their copyright notice, the page number source document for the ebook, especially if the book has various editions. This is relatively a new process but it helps readers coordinate content between the paper version and ebook. This is increasingly important in the educational environment. Students using both hardbound and the ebook versions need a reference point sometimes.

Samples
One of the current ebook marketing strategies is to allow the prospective reader to read a sample of the ebook before buying. All distributors seem to go at this sample process differently but at the end of the day they want to provide the prospective buyer with something that can help with the buying decision. Most of them use a percentage basis.

The REAL ebook concept can help with this process but there has to be a rearranging of the book’s sections if the process is automated like most of them are.

Let me start with an example. I reviewed the buy page on Amazon for each book in my study. I choose one ebook in my study and downloaded the sample, comparing it to the full length version. Here’s what I found.

The ebook sample was in the same section sequence as the paper version. I know there is a traditional way to setup a book. This sample was no exception. It started with the cover followed by the title page, the table of contents, the dedication, the copyright page and a list of the writer’s other works.

So you ask what’s wrong with this. If this sample was going to help sell my ebook, it probably failed. The sample was 80 device pages long but the viewer had to page through 24 pages before they could start reading the book to make a decision.

I believe if you are going to use the sample as a sales tool, there are some slight changes you can make. I would include the cover and the title page with an abbreviated TOC up front along with the author’s other books with buy links. Also I would include upfront the author’s website and contact information. Move the copyright page, dedications and credits to the end of the ebook.

If you get to setup your own sample, keep this in mind. REAL ebooks and their samples should give the prospect what they need to make a decision and only that. A sample doesn’t need a complete table of content. This ebook had 80 chapters which took up four complete device pages and the kicker was; the links to the last 76 chapters were no good. Make the sample simple. Get the reader to your content as quickly as possible.

Bring on the REAL ebook
In most cases, ebooks are still just copies of the paper version but there is a huge opportunity to improve the ebook reading experience. Creative book design and digital links can help us move the ebook experience forward in acceptance.

Currently we have a problem. Let’s face it. Until traditional publishers start to treat ebooks as separate products with different properties and requirements, we have not taken advantage of the digital product. Their approach is simple but self-serving. Get it out the door. Get the copy into an ebook format, charge a higher price than needed and watch the money fall to their bottom line.

The advantage should go to the self-publisher because they control the process. They have the ability to correct the problems easily and make something really special.

Seek a professional to help you through the process if you’re really serious about marketing your ebook.

What do you think about the REAL ebook concept? Is adding links to an already completed product just too much work or would it move your book to the leading edge of ebook world and improve the readers enjoyment?

View my website: HBSystems Publications
Specializing in the ebook experience
Or EMAIL at: jrm@hbspub.com
Or go to my blog: The eBook Author’s Corner
LinkedIn Profile: James Moushon
Author: Call Off The Dogs, a rendered eBook

This blog was first published at the The Book Designer by Joel Friedlander.

Joel Friedlander is a self-published author and book designer who blogs about book design, self-publishing and the indie publishing life at TheBookDesigner.com. He’s also the proprietor of Marin Bookworks, where he helps publishers and authors who decide to publish get to market on time and on budget with books that are both properly constructed and beautiful to read.

It was posted again on the Passive Voice blog hosted by the Passive Guy.
Together the two have generated over 100 comments.

The Paper Rats deconstruct some common writer stereotypes.

About:

Authors  R.J. Keller and Kristen J. Tsetsi like to make videos when they should be writing. Their show is called “Inside The Writers’ Studio.”

They are Paper Rats.

The author’s web site describes 21 Erased with the following section:

The book addresses special readers, those who have the speed of thinking, sharp observations, and whose mind understands immediately. Those who need extensive descriptions to have enough time for their mind to adjust, whose mind wanders off, those find it too quick, need explaining what just hit them.

With just one sentence, the main character’s world is opening up in front of your eyes. All the rules of that harsh life are outlined and you are drawn into the plot breathless. You’ll find yourself breathing with her, tense and living her life. You are a special reader because the book itself is special.

Only intelligent mind that connects everything in an instant, that sees the traps and lies in a life around him, is the one that will breathe with this book. You will recognize some things that are in all regimes – you cannot fool the intelligence. We see…

When I first read the description above, I found it a bit pretentious. After having read the book and having gotten familiar with Rayne’s style (or at least the style she chose for 21 Erased), the above section doesn’t seem so odd anymore.

21 Erased is the story of Sarah told by herself. She is a young woman working as a cook in a government building. She also carries coffee, when necessary, to the offices. She is a simple resident living in constant fear of the system. However, what makes Sarah special is her ability to distinguish the true nature of the dark canvas of their lives. One day, during her brother John’s birthday party, she shares her negative opinions about their situation with Steven, a friend of John’s. And the same night she gets kidnapped from her home by government agents.

“They know everything. I was angry because I was scared, I lived in fascism and nobody saw it but me.”

The book starts well. It gives a good indication about what’s to come. It draws the reader in. When I read the short, 2-page, prologue-like first chapter, I felt I had to read more. This first chapter is a brief introduction to the book’s setting. Unfortunately the author doesn’t develop it as much as I’d like to but this brief glimpse is enough to tell the reader she’s getting herself into a story about a dark, tightly-controlled society.

In this future fascist dystopian society, the code that people carry on their hands is their identity, their money, their house key, their car key, their bus pass. Without it or with an invalid code, they are nothing. They simply cease to exist. And everybody knows that maladjusted people are taken to the Adjustment Centers that were originally opened for pandemic control. They never come back.

This is a world where the heavy hand of religion is constantly felt on the shoulders of the citizens. There are prayers every day, for everyone at specific times. When the TV programs end, everybody pray and place their hand on their code reader and then, only then, they can go to sleep. People don’t talk at work and the conversations during breaks revolve around simple things such as a TV show or a movie.

It doesn’t come as a surprise to learn that government controls every aspect of its citizens lives. They control the media who tell people what to say and what to think. They even control the music or the shows that people listen to in their smart cars. The government also takes the responsibility of raising exemplary citizens very seriously. For this reason, children are taken away from their parents at birth. Every citizen is given a pill once a month that needs to be taken during a predefined time of the month. Internet is heavily controlled, people cannot kiss in public, cannot consume alcohol, cannot leave their state without permission.

One can’t even find solace in good weather. Because of the climate change, the only season is winter. The temperature is always below 40F (5C). Some people are worn out from the cold and they have no money for heating. And when the sun comes out, it is not pleasant. It burns their skin.

21 Erased is a very fast read. Not only as a consequence of its novella size but also thanks to the author’s style. Rayne also uses short chapters in her book, which contributes to the overall ease of read. But mainly because the book has the feeling of a movie made by a camcorder. It’s not necessarily a bad story but the lack of depth in certain areas took me by surprise. All aspects of the story could be more developed. There are some brilliant ideas in the setting that don’t live longer than a simple mention in a sentence. Just when the reader gets ready to learn more about them, they never materialize.

The only character development is Sarah’s. The other characters feel like shadows. And I had a strong feeling that the author changed course in the middle of the story. At times it feels like reading through Sarah’s elaborate diary. There are also a few other things that I cannot discuss in a review for the fear of spoiling the story.

However, and this is important, despite all these shortcomings, I enjoyed reading 21 Erased. Normally, I would consider any one of the points I mentioned above annoying. However the runaway train speed of the author’s style grabbed me and pulled me until the very end. I think Rayne is currently working on her new book called Evolve. I’m interested to see how it compares to 21 Erased.

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I then started getting into the book itself; the first chapter. I thought, oh my, Hunter S. Thompson’s final work? Or maybe this is his protégé? This is soooo Gonzo Journalism; but the author is no journalist. The author was just a member of the band. What is this anyway? I figured I was in for a ride. Well, I’m the committing type.

I continue to read… and the plot eventually comes to the surface. I don’t think the author intended the book to come out this way, but… I found myself laughing myself silly. Oh, this is just too wonderful to be missed!

The book is a crime piece, drawing on the main character of “Big Al Cancelino.” Big Al, as he is referred to in the book, is actually a guy from Upstate New York, trapped in the 80’s. He is a guy from a small Adirondack town and all he wants to do is have a band. Kevin, the author, was a guitarist with the band for a while, and a good friend of Al’s. Al, by the way, also has this bad habit of stepping into business situations that smell like poo but end up as mondo money makers.

The crime part of this comes about, as it did with most bands back then, in the drug scene of the 80’s. Cocaine abounds in this story, along with some pretty funny stories about cops, Feds, prisons, courtroom scenes and the way our judicial system was and still probably is (not so) working.

Al finds himself in the situation that many bands end up in: too much money and nothing better to do with it than spend it on drugs, and side businesses that also generate too much money and nothing better to do with it. There are also the ever-present drugs, and while the general population seems to think that drugs are bad for you, the life style of the 80’s called for cocaine and saw nothing wrong with it.

The story is twofold. First, the main story appears [sometimes] to be the author trying to put this book together. He is an aspiring author with two unfinished books called upon by his friend to write his friends “real” story. Seems one of the Feds wrote a story about his big bust on Big Al, and Al wants the real story to come out. Kevin is nominated to write it. The other story is the actual story, as told to Kevin by Al, with embellishment by Kevin on occasions. Kevin is part of the story as well; hence the Gonzo Journalism style of writing – the journalist becomes part of the story as the story unfolds.

I have to admit (without admitting to anything) that I was “vaguely” aware of these kinds of things back when I was younger. And knowing a few folks who ended up being busted for drugs, the questions are pretty much the same. Why were the police and the Feds allowed to do what they did back then? The Feds especially, seemed to have a lot of freedom to interfere with a lot of cases they handled. The fact that Al, a small time drug addict who had lots of money and bought lots of cocaine for his own use and for partying, was never a real threat to society as some of the real heavy duty dealers were back then. Yet, the government was duped into thinking Big Al was a drug kingpin, and spent tons of money on building a stupid case against the guy, and then incarcerating him for 7 years on our tax dollars for… partying. Literally.

Now, don’t get me wrong. The guy did break the law as far as drugs were concerned. And, yes, it was against the law, and yes, when he was caught, yeah, he paid the penalty. And as a credit to the man when he was put in front of the judge, he pleaded guilty. But, the actual case appears to have been blown out of proportion. Well, at least based on the story told here.

The book seems to have been spurred on by the publication of a book by an ex-Fed named Paul Bannister, who seems to have blown this whole story out of proportion just to benefit his ego, and his collar record. Al seems to think his side needs to be told. And Al tells a whopper of a story. The judicial system, from the investigation to the arrest to the conviction to the prison system, is a joke. To read this book, you come away with the feeling that we are wasting our tax dollars on both incarceration and on the drug war.

But the reading of the story is well worth the price of the book. And as I made my way through the book, I found myself shaking my head in disbelief at some of the stupidity of our law and order system. I found myself laughing out loud at most of Al’s stories. Some of those stories are priceless.

As for Kevin’s writing: His personal aspect and philosophies add to the content of the book. That he was there at the time this was building adds to the possibility of the story. That he wasn’t there when the bust when down ads to the credibility of the story. He can then look back at the whole story and draw some pretty interesting and plausible conclusions.

But, alas, he is a writer, not an editor. Check at 107 and it should be altar, not alter. That’s just the start. The book needs an editor.  I’m not talking about Al’s priceless language use and misuse either. The formatting of the book also has some issues. The italic for the quotes from Al, well, OK. But the really tiny text for your commentaries… I am not getting any younger and that really needs to be worked on – it needs to stand out, but don’t use tiny text. He needs to indent the paragraphs, not make them smaller than gnats. I would have indented the quotes for Al and then put the author’s thoughts and insights in italic. Keeps the stories separate. Geez…I am telling the author how to format the book. But, you see, it really is a good book. It just needs some pro editing and some good formatting behind it and it could work. Yes, I can see that happening! And don’t change the ending! No matter what anyone says! Priceless.

I have to say I really enjoyed this story of the 80’s, music, drugs, booze, groupies, cops, prison and Feds. The way it is written is, well, curious. But in a good way! It makes the story that much more interesting. I enjoyed this, but it still needs a little work. 3.5 Stars.

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But most of these errors are correctable.  And it sooooo distracts from the content of the book.  It becomes almost impossible to read some passages as you read, then re-read and then read again and realize the author left out the word “not,” or used double negatives, or means her instead of he.   And I am not discussing dialogue here.  Dialogue sometimes has its own lingo, depending on the locale of the story.  But if you are going to use dialects, then do your research and use it correctly.  I had one book I just deleted because the dialogue was too difficult to read in the chosen dialect.  It was very poorly done.  If you don’t know it, don’t use it.   But when it’s supposed to be English and it looks like pig Latin, you know someone was not proofreading their work.

People rely too much on the power of the word processor to correct most errors.  That is so wrong.  It is a machine, not AI.  The machine does not know you mean their instead of there, or bailed instead of balled.   The words are spelled correctly as far as the machine is concerned.   But you know you didn’t mean “…and the girlfriend balled him out.”

Unless your aunt or sister is a schoolteacher, having a family member proofread your work is not going to do it.  You can see in the acknowledgements at the front of the book “With many thanks to yadda-yadda, my cousin (or fill in the blank), for proofreading my work.  Ya did a great job.”  NOT!  Sorry, but if the relative can’t tell the difference between here and hear, then they did not do such a great job, dude.

Then there is the Kindle formatting.  Now, I know how to format a book myself.  I’ve learned.   But I am an IT freak and software is my game.   But for the average person, this can be tricky.  And when you see typefaces in 4 different font sizes in the same paragraph, you know they were having a hard time figuring out how to work the software.  Or there are 4 blank pages between each chapter.  Or everything becomes indented in the middle of the book.  I’ve seen everything go Italic in the middle of a book and then to bold typeface near the end.  And, of course, the pictures.  Missing, too big, too small; yet the author references them and you need the picture.  All these are due to not knowing how to use the word processing program well enough to correct these errors.

I cannot emphasize enough the need for self-publishing authors to seek out professional help in proofing their work.  And that includes editing.  If you are going to publish a book that references specifics, you need to make sure you are doing your fact checking correctly.  That’s where an editor comes in.  Editors will also tell you if you use something in the wrong manner or if the reference is incomplete, in error or outdated.  I was reading the other day where a character was given a bunch of letters after their name to insinuate they were a psychiatrist.  Well, the letters denoted he was a dentist.  I was wondering why they brought a DDS in to interrogate a suspect.

While you might think the average reader will not notice such “little things,” truth is it should be a matter of pride in your work.  Because you know someone is going to point out your major Faux Pas.  And as a reviewer, I am not only going to knock off a star or two for bad proofing, editing and formatting, but I will mention it in the review I write.  Why?  Because it does make a difference, and it will be noticed and you should really care about what you are writing.

One of the reasons publishing houses take a large chunk of your book fees is because they proofread your work before they publish it.  Now, granted, some publishing houses have crack editors and proofreaders.  Others…well.  Let’s just say I’ve seen some really sloppy editing on the part of some publishers, and have written them asking…did you do that on purpose or did you just not care?

In particular I remember where a biography was done and except for the title on the book cover, the subject of the bio had their name misspelled throughout the entire work.  Someone had the window pop up in the spellchecker that said “this word is spelled wrong, suggesting…” and they hit the “OK, change all” button.   It went to press wrong.  And everyone noticed it right away – Amazon was flooded with reviews about the misspelled name.  How many times have you hit the change button without look at what you are changing?  We all do it, don’t feel bad.  But that’s what a proofreader gets paid to catch.

But back to self-publishing: poorly formatted and proofread work is going to affect the sales of your book, if you want to come right down to the bottom line.  I have seen some author complain about poor sales and then someone comments “well, if your work was readable, it might sell better.”  You have to love Facebook for the raw comments if nothing else.

Look into the numerous proofreading firms out there.  Actually LOOK at the Kindle copy of your book and see how it came out AFTER Amazon converted it.  If it looks funky, chances are it will look funky to everyone and you should get help to reformat it.

One more side note – cover art.  I’ve seen all sorts of “Kindle Art” for books.  That Fire just came out and presents color to the public now is probably a great thing.  But I have a black and white Kindle and I would guess at this point so do many others.  Have you looked at your cover art in a black and white Kindle?  Some of it is scary!  If you don’t have a Kindle, the reader software is free and you can install it on your home PC.  Read your book in a Kindle and see what it looks like BEFORE you load it into Amazon.

If you are not sure, then you should get a proofreader.  And check your formatting.  Present a professional appearance.  You are going to make more money if you present a professional appearance.  I can almost guarantee it.  Of course, a good story always helps.

William Westhoven, who has covered the performing arts as a journalist since 1989, makes the leap to fiction successfully with his debut novel. He accomplishes this by using a compassionate, humorous narrative voice, interspersing his journalistic observations about the music business with a light enough touch to let the story continue moving.

One-Hit Willie: A Classic Rock Novel opens as a musician consents to an interview on television prior to a reunion tour with his former band. In fine in media res style, a “gotcha” entertainment journalist is speaking:

“Did you hear the question?”

Of course he heard the question. It was still ringing in his ears like a damn church bell.

Aaron hung on as the room spun around him. Get a grip, man, you’re losing it!

“I’m sorry, who?” he asked, stalling for precious milliseconds.

“Weekend Willie. Does that name mean anything to you?”

“Uh, no. I mean, not really. Should it?” He mustered a thin smile, trying desperately to cover his panic.

In this brief passage Westhoven hooks us with a mystery: Who is this Willie, what is Aaron hiding, and why should we care about him? To begin answering the latter question, we soon learn Aaron’s previous successes haven’t gone to his head:

He was different than the sad parade of weeping used-to-bes who could not bear it when they walked down the street and no one recognized them. Carrie Mann was not exploiting him. He was exploiting her. And he had other people in his corner, important people, who would make sure his tour was a respectable event, not some kind of nostalgia freak show.

Amid the chaos created by this on-the-air interview, the Prologue stops as abruptly as it started. From Pearl Harbor through the New Millenium, from Las Vegas to San Francisco by way of Atlantic City and Oceanside, California, the story of this musician’s epic career is then told in chronological order—fifty years and coast-to-coast.

By the time he is a teenager, Willie is already performing on stage nightly. He doesn’t quite know what to do with the attention from his mother and girlfriend, let alone his audiences. But we are told early on what motivates him to keep playing:

It wasn’t the attention he enjoyed. It was how he could make people feel things with his music.

As the plot winds its way through time and place, our protagonist is beset with triumphs and tragedies befitting any guitar hero. In spite of his popularity in Las Vegas, he is forced by circumstances to leave town and change his identity. He lands in San Francisco during the Summer of Love and eventually starts another band, selling millions of records. But as he grows older, he’s more and more the reluctant hero:

In between shows, the band continued to watch the news reports and sulk about missing the concert of the century.

Aaron startled himself by daydreaming about playing in front of half a million people, just like Hendrix was at Woodstock. Could his new band really ever get that big? And if they did, could they handle it? Could he handle it? Aaron lived in constant conflict between his need for anonymity and his need for an audience.

Westhoven gives us characters that are types and yet individuals. Aaron’s mother is Winnie Quinn, and while we’ve all met someone like Winnie, we’ve never met this Winnie. There’s a tavern owner named Pappy, a studio engineer called Flash, and a casino named The Full House. The aptly-named characters and places are introduced with lyrical description, such as Las Vegas mobster Pasquale “Patsy” Bucco:

Patsy was built like a coal furnace. Five-foot-seven, nearly as wide, with a cast-iron stomach inside and out. Shoulders wider than the alley that cut from Division to Elm in his native Chicago. Round biceps the size of coconuts. Knuckles hard as lug nuts.

The characters also come to life through believable dialogue, whether the conversations are long or short. Even more impressive is Westhoven’s use of place to reflect a character’s level of comfort (or discomfort) with their environment, be it New Jersey—

Atlantic City girls were much prettier than Chicago girls, too. Strolling the Boardwalk in shorts and sundresses that billowed in the ocean breeze. Lounging on the beach in next to nothing. Maybe there was something in the air, a tonic that let Patsy forget his enormous responsibilities.

Or Las Vegas—

… Nothing mattered more to him than leading his band and mesmerizing his loyal fans like some sort of desert Pied Piper. …

Or San Francisco (my favorite paragraph in the book)—

The recording sessions for the first album by the Victorian Manner were the stuff of legend. Arguments that escalated into fistfights. Clashes of ego that threatened to compromise the San Andreas Fault. Attacks of anxiety, panic and hysteria. Walkouts and tearful reunions that ate up days of studio time.

Westhoven also knows when to wear his wistful storyteller hat and when to wear his observant journalist hat, as contrasted in these two passages:

“You could hurt yourself dancing to jazz,” Willie often said. He and Bobby would try to dance to a Miles Davis record, get all twisted and then fall on top of each other, laughing like hyenas.

Current events played a feature role in bringing the band back together. A nuclear accident at Three-Mile Island in Pennsylvania had ignited a firestorm of protest across the country in early 1979. …

… Even some of the more conservative Americans, who had been reluctant to protest against the government, were willing to protest a private industry spewing toxic waste into their backyards.

The movement gained more momentum when famous musicians, actors and other celebrities attached themselves to the cause. Benefit concerts were being planned in many large cities around the country. …

The Author’s Note in the back of the book goes into the process Westhoven went through in creating his narrative voice and the personal meaning of the themes arising throughout his carefully woven story.

It bears repeating to say the author takes us to the edge of the stage without falling into a mosh pit of cliché. That I think so much of this novel is the reason I rate the book 4 stars instead of 5. I’d like to see the cover without the blurbs added (front and back); I couldn’t find credits for the front photo or the cover design (both are superb). Additionally, the text needs a quick copy edit to clean up numerous yet easy-to-fix typos.

But don’t let that stop you from getting this book. For a self-published first novel, this is something to be proud of. I’ve known famous musicians and am fairly well-versed in the history of rock and roll, yet found myself chuckling at times, gasping at others, and misting up at the end. Well done, Willie!

Links

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Smashwords

Take Ortega y Gasset, an influential twentieth-century Spanish philosopher. That’s all I remembered about him from a course I took on existentialist writers many years ago.

Then I picked up Oswald Sobrino’s Freedom and Circumstance, a small, unassuming and very readable ebook with a powerful title and a profound grasp of his subject. Despite its relatively short length, it is a thorough introduction to the philosophy and significance of Ortega y Gasset (1883-1935) and a very interesting read. Sobrino gives us Ortega with a clarity of thought and in words that are simple enough for even a neophyte like me to understand.

Freedom and Circumstance elucidates Ortega’s methodology, his philosophical tenets, his significance for the modern age and our time. The book focuses on the basics of Orteguian philosophy, translating into English Ortega’s beautifully written Spanish and making copious use of footnotes that, surprisingly, are a delight to read.

Freedom and Circumstance examines the Ortega y Gasset’s early influences, especially the German philosophers, Ortega’s departure from Descartes and subjective Idealism, and Ortega’s most important works. These include “What Is Philosophy?” a seminal work of the twentieth century published in Madrid, Spain (1929) where Ortega was born, taught, and died. Madrid, Sobrino reminds us, is at “the heart of Spain and on the edge of Europe, both physically and culturally.”

For me a memorable part of the book was Sobrino’s reminder that Ortega did not have a philosophy or hold to a set of philosophical beliefs. Rather, Ortega was a philosophy, that philosophy for him was “a making in oneself a place and a space where the Universe can be known and known again.”

The author also reminds the reader of Ortega’s meaning of word, circumstance “. . . as crucial to our self-identity.”

Another personal favorite in this book was the picture Sobrino painted of Ortega teaching on a quiet morning in a sunlit park in Madrid at the turn of the twentieth century, lecturing to a rapt audience of students.

This kindle ebook has 1070 locations. That’s about the size of a novella.* Whatever its size, I highly recommend the book. It is a bargain at 99¢, and gave this reader many Eureka Moments.

About the Author: Oswald Sobrino holds an M.A. in Theology, an M.A. in Economics, and a Juris Doctor degree. He is fluent in Spanish and teaches biblical studies and Latin. Philosophy was one of his undergraduate majors—and his favorite. Madrid, Spain, the home of José Ortega y Gasset, is his favorite city. Like Ortega, he received a Jesuit education. Sobrino has ten books for sale on Amazon, including Freedom and Circumstance.

*A “location,” Amazon tells us, is 128 characters, smaller than a 140-character-Tweet. A location contains about 25 to 28 words, depending, of course, on the number of spaces between the words. So there are, very roughly and ballpark speaking, somewhere between 22,000 to 30,000 words in Freedom and Circumstance, making it the size of a novella.

Links

Amazon

Blog: LOGOS

Eric is having none of it. Keen to get away, he checks himself out of the hospital and soon discovers he’s been suspended from his civilian job as a paramedic. Intent on wallowing for a while in his “crappy, aimless life”, Eric hits a local bar and quickly finds himself back in violent trouble – and in the local lock-up. The duty sergeant tells Eric he was rescued by “a buddy”, one mysterious Antonio ‘Tony’ Montenegro – Business Consultant, according to his card. Intrigued, Eric meets Tony for dinner. Recognizing a man of useful talents, and a fellow Venezuelan, Tony recommends Eric for a job with Corso International where he is hired as a computer security expert and quickly relocated to Venezuela.

Eric soon realizes he’s being watched. He thinks he’s being followed, he knows his cell phone has been hacked, and someone is persistently trying to access his laptop. Is it a Corso competitor? The Venezuelan government? Or maybe even the NSA? Moreover, he can’t figure out if his gorgeous colleague, Trishna, is friend or foe. One evening, Eric attends a technology symposium where the Venezuelan President is giving a speech. As the speech unfolds, Eric is suddenly struck down by a migraine. He excuses himself and heads for bathroom where he assaults a security agent and takes his gun. On his way back, Eric intercepts the President who is now working the crowd. He shoots the President dead. Then he runs…

Henry Mosquera’s Sleeper’s Run unashamedly borrows its premise from The Manchurian Candidate, and owes a fair chunk of what follows to the spirit of Jason Bourne, but it still manages to cook up a reasonably complex and original story. It blends exotic locales, an assassination plot, memory loss, mind control, CIA conspiracies, and feats of derring-do. Half the fun of this genre is suspending disbelief, and Sleeper’s Run encourages it wholeheartedly, pushing the limits of credulity and at times going well beyond. It’s a high-concept tale that could easily form the basis of a Hollywood blockbuster or season-long television narrative, such as 24.

That all counts in its favour. As a story idea, it’s fine. But as a realised novel in the action-thriller genre, I was less convinced.

The issue for me is the writing style. An action-thriller must immerse the reader in the world of the novel. It must make the reader feel as if they are there. This is most effectively done with detail: the careful depiction of physical settings, the way characters look and sound, the size and shape of objects, etc. The prose should be functional, lean, unadorned, striving to be invisible. It also needs to move with an almost musical rhythm that pulls you across the page and makes you forget that you are reading. The result is a world vividly realised in your imagination. Sleeper’s Run occasionally does this – some of the action sequences are strong – but it often reads less like a novel and more like the treatment for a screenplay. By this I mean it flies over the action at 30,000 feet, preferring rapid synopsis and exposition to the detailed rendering of scenes. It’s as if the author can’t wait to get to the next chapter. This creates the strange sensation that the novel is moving very quickly and covering plenty of ground, but not really going anywhere. Pace comes at the price of characterisation, engagement and suspense.

When we do get detail, it often lacks originality. For example, Eric’s arrival at Tony’s house in Chapter 6 is described as follows:

This is very nice, I say to myself again when I step out into the garden. The first sight that hits me is a group of gorgeous women sunbathing topless by the pool. Tony’s idea of a small BBQ at home seems to come straight out of “Playboy.” His definition of a few friends means two dozen scantily clad people accompanied by a bartender juggling a full bar, a DJ spinning tracks, and a cook handling the grill.

Rather than describing an original scene, Mosquera simply instructs you to recall the generic “rich bad guy’s pool party” we’ve seen in dozens of Hollywood movies or every third episode of CSI: Miami. In another scene, Tony and Eric sit down for dinner and this is literally how it’s described:

Soon we’re sitting at the best table in the house, with a bottle of their finest red, and a doting waiter at our beck and call.

Ever seen that moment before? Ever heard those lazy phrases? I understand the temptation to use familiar scenes and stock phrases – you want to give your story a kind of narrative authenticity through its resemblance to other stories. However, the result is quite different. It pushes the reader out of the moment as something real because we see that we’re dealing with clichés. I had that feeling quite often throughout the novel, with many sequences feeling either derivative or too superficially handled to be involving. Again, they felt like sketches for scenes in a movie; gestures towards scenes the author wants to include but doesn’t quite know how to execute in prose.

The novel sometimes goes so far as to make explicit references to movies as a substitute for description, e.g. “I must look like Ed Norton in that scene with his boss in Fight Club”, and “My eyes are kept open like that guy in [A] Clockwork Orange”. One setting is described bluntly as looking “like the set of a horror film”. All of this would be fine – perfect, in fact – if our protagonist were an everyman movie buff in a comedic novel. But he isn’t that. Fleeing his enemies at one point, Eric says, “I Jackie Chan my way through an opening”, and he later reflects on his “John Woo move”. But think about it. Is this really the way a highly-trained solider and devotee of Jujitsu, Eskrima and Krav Maga, would describe what he just did? I’m all for characters being three-dimensional, and I know Eric is part IT geek, but those phrases just didn’t ring true.

Of course, film/television and genre fiction sit in something of a virtuous circle these days, with each feeding the other. Hollywood films and episodic television are the story forms we’re most familiar with – in the West, at least. So it’s no surprise that genre novels, especially by emerging writers, pretty closely resemble what we see on the screen. But a novel is still a novel, and how you tell the story on paper is very different. I’d have liked Sleeper’s Run more if it demonstrated a deeper understanding of these differences and their implications for storytelling.

And I suspect the author is, on some level, aware of those differences because sometimes he pulls it off masterfully. For example, in Chapter 43, Eric describes a sniper attack on a convoy. The way people’s heads are exploding and limbs being torn off suggests, to his soldier’s mind, that the attackers are triangulating and using .50 caliber rounds. In his escape from capture in Chapter 52, Eric’s thrillingly clinical description of knifing his way through his tormentors is obviously informed by his paramedic’s knowledge of anatomy. I winced at every slice. The descriptions in these passages are detailed, vivid, imaginatively original, and consistent with the character making the observations. My only complaint is they were too short. It’s great stuff! I wanted more there, and more of it throughout the novel.

But enough of what I didn’t like. Sleeper’s Run has a number of strengths, and one is its depiction of Venezuela. I can’t think of an action-thriller that uses Venezuela as a primary setting, or uses it without overt reference to the drug trade. Many readers probably consider Venezuela indistinguishable from Colombia or Panama – “just another of those Latin American countries”, characterized by violence and drug trafficking. Mosquera shows us instead what Venezuela actually is: a vibrant and contemporary society wrestling, like many, with urbanization, class warfare and political corruption. We’re treated to a potted history of Venezuela in parts. Some of these passages do read a little like downloads from The Economist and could be better blended into the action or dialogue, but for the most part they’re informative without being political or didactic. Mosquera chooses some great locations and really brings them alive. (This is another example of where he does deploy detail quite well.) These depictions appear to be based on real-life experience or some pretty exhaustive research, which is to be commended. This is the first novel I’ve reviewed on an e-reader (Kindle for iPad), and I found myself constantly flipping over to Google Earth to find the exact locations being described, they sounded so intriguing. The same applied when the action shifted to Qatar and other locales.

Eric Caine is also a strength of the novel. He’s a remarkably talented – and endearing – man. He was a pararescue jumper in a counter terrorist unit where he saw multiple combat missions. He’s a deadly force in hand-to-hand combat, has a genius-level IQ, is a phenomenally skilled computer hacker and, best of all, has the INTJ psych profile in the Myers-Briggs typology (like me). Dazzlingly multitalented protagonists – with useful flaws, of course – are a staple of action-thrillers, but what gives Eric originality is his heritage. Born to an American father and a Venezuelan mother, he grew up mostly in Venezuela but attended MIT and served in the US military. He has a foot in two worlds from the outset. This gives him great versatility in moving between cultures, and it also means he’s not necessarily at home in – nor unthinkingly loyal to – either. I’d be interested to see how Mosquera uses this refreshing ambiguity if Eric reappears in later novels. It could be a rich element of many stories, especially in a world increasingly dominated by economic and political globalization.

Finally, I can’t end this review without remarking on the narrative voice. For the most part the novel is told in the first person, in the voice of Eric Caine. Suddenly, at Chapter 16, it flips into third-person omniscient and covers scenes in which Eric does not appear, and of which he cannot have knowledge. The subsequent chapters mix the two perspectives, plus at least one that uses free-indirect narrative to get closer to Trishna. I found these changes jarring, initially. Up until Chapter 16 I felt aligned with Eric, and was enjoying being just as much in the dark as he was. However, the multiplicity of perspectives does allow Mosquera to advance the plot in new ways. Tension and anticipation can be more effectively built if we know more than the protagonist and see threats he doesn’t, and Mosquera uses the device to good effect. It’s a smart and surprising choice.

In summary, I found this a frustrating novel. It has a strong premise. I liked the originality of the settings and the central character. But the writing didn’t involve me. It didn’t hold my attention and demand I come back for more. The author clearly knows what he’s doing at a conceptual level. I hope he continues writing – and I really hope he reads widely in the action-thriller genre, which I doubt he’s done to date. The anxiety of influence will always be there, of course, but making a close study of a few successful thriller writers will reveal a lot about their techniques and why their novels are so engaging. (Lee Child would be a great place to start, as his prose is relentlessly spare yet amazingly visual.) My hope is not that Mosquera would ape their style, but that he would develop a technical appreciation of why their work is strong and thereby expand the possibilities of his own. Henry Mosquera is a thriller writer with potential. He has the gift of imagination, and knows all the elements required for a story to work. He just needs to hone his craft. I look forward to seeing how his work evolves.

Links

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

www.sleepers-run.com

Now anyone can create stunning iBooks textbooks, cookbooks, history books, picture books, and more for iPad. All you need is an idea and a Mac. Start with one of the Apple-designed templates that feature a wide variety of page layouts. Add your own text and images with drag-and-drop ease. Use Multi-Touch widgets to include interactive photo galleries, movies, Keynote presentations, 3D objects, and more. Preview your book on your iPad at any time. Then submit your finished work to the iBookstore with a few simple steps. And before you know it, you’re a published author.

Apple-designed templates
• Give your book a great beginning with templates that include a choice of page designs with matching fonts, colors, and textures
• Easily customize your book with text and images, create new layouts, and even save a custom template
• Use the Book Navigator to organize your book and add a cover and table of contents

Beautiful text and layouts
• Use a variety of text styles in each template to give your book a rich yet consistent look
• Add text, shapes, charts, tables, and media anywhere on the page
• Import a chapter written in Pages or Microsoft Word and apply a great-looking layout from your current template
• Add any word to the glossary with a single click and easily include photos, images, charts, tables, and shapes next to any definition
• Automatically create a portrait view of your book, which allows readers to focus on the text

Multi-Touch widgets
• Choose from a variety of widgets that add Multi-Touch interactivity to your book
• Add a photo gallery, chapter review, movie, Keynote presentation, interactive image with callouts, 3D object, or custom HTML anywhere in your book
• Widgets include placeholders for titles and captions and are automatically numbered so you can reference them in your main text
• Add accessibility descriptions to any widget so that it can be used by sight-impaired readers easily with VoiceOver

That “Now anyone” needs to be rewritten. In eager anticipation of the new ebook app, I found this:

Requirements: Mac OS X 10.7.2 or later

I’m using 10.6.8 – a new i5 iMac I just bought, so I’m not about to upgrade for a single app. So not only does this put the app off limits to Windows users, it’s off limits to most Mac users. One of the worst features of the Mac is being forced to buy new hardware to keep up with the software. The reason that I bought the iMac was because my laptop couldn’t run Logic 9. So I’m not about to do it again. This really seems aimed at high-end graphic designers, or wealthy schools – not self-publishers.

I’m glad that Apple’s going down this road and offering this capability, but until it’s a cross-platform app like iTunes that is available for all operating systems, it’s a highly-niche app that’s hardly going to break open the self-publishing industry,

Self-publishing is about ease and availability. It’s about breaking down the barriers and making the tools available to everyone. This doesn’t fit that. You don’t need software to access the Kindle KDP – you just need an internet connection. If this was going to be the thing to rival KDP, Amazon doesn’t have to worry.

Update: I may have gone too far with my annoyance at updating to Lion – but 1. It is an extra expense for a “free” app and 2. Updating an OS is not always a seamless process, as happened with my last update, which broke my computer.

But beyond that, there are problems with the app beyond the software required.  First, it requires exclusivity – so this isn’t an epub tool you can use to distribute on other sites. It’s Apple-only.

See: The Unprecedented Audacity of the iBooks Author EULA

So, to paraphrase: By using this software, you agree that anything you make with it is in part ours. But if it can say that and have legal force, can’t it say anything? Isn’t this the equivalent of a car dealer trying to bind you to additional terms by sticking a contract in the glove compartment? By driving this car, you agree to get all your oil changes from Honda of Cupertino?

Apple, in this EULA, is claiming a right not just to its software, but to its software’s output. It’s akin to Microsoft trying to restrict what people can do with Word documents, or Adobe declaring that if you use Photoshop to export a JPEG, you can’t freely sell it to Getty. As far as I know, in the consumer software industry, this practice is unprecedented.

Jon Konrath has a very good comment below.