Visiting by Polly Walker Blakemore

An unfiltered portrait of mortality and an intimate exploration of hospice care, Visiting by Polly Walker Blakemore is a touching story rooted in devotion, duty, and dignity.

In this visceral memoir, the author bears witness to her mother’s multi-year decline into dementia, illustrating their profound moments of connection, tender snapshots of daily routine, and the emotional toll of parental role reversal. From in-depth discussions of the Food Network and the daily circuit of household movements to panic over the pandemic and the flexible nature of memory, this is a revelatory account of a mother-daughter bond in its final chapter.

The writing style varies throughout the diary-like entries – some sections resemble scribbled and unpolished notes on an exhausting day, while others are slow and self-reflective outpourings of relief, frustration, grief, and gratitude. For anyone who has acted as a caretaker, or faces the prospect in the future, the book presents both the frustrating challenges, cyclical issues, and invaluable opportunities for growth that such demanding seasons of life provide, providing a sense of both camaraderie and instruction. Blakemore doesn’t sugar-coat the experience, but also reminds readers of the humorous and indelibly human moments that characterize end-of-life care.

While the content and focus can occasionally be repetitive, this also reflects the reality of caretaking, and highlights the importance of compassion, patience, and curiosity throughout our lives, until the very end.